Peyton Heart Project Ambassador Essay: By AmandaGrace Krier
Hello. My name is AmandaGrace Krier and I would like to become an ambassador for the The Peyton Heart Project. I have a passion for your project and all the work that you do. Suicide is not a topic that comes easy to talk about, and it should never be an easy thing to talk about because once it is that makes suicide “normal”. I love that every heart is handmade and that it brings people together to talk about the hard stuff, and that the hearts don’t just say #peytonheartproject…they come with an encouraging statement and for some as a remembrance of a loved one. I think the work that you do is very important because your friendly hearts make people want to learn more about suicide awareness and just because our loved one is not with us anymore doesn’t mean that they disappear. “No one deserves to be forgotten, No one deserves to fade away, No one should come and go and have no one know that they were ever even here, No one deserves to disappear.” -Dear Evan Hansen
Growing up I was constantly bullied for reasons at the time I didn’t know. Now, looking back at the child I was, which was a loud spoken little blonde southern girl I can now say that the things that made me different made me powerful. I realize that people are very insecure about themselves and it’s easier to pick on someone else’s flaws than to look on your own. Freshman year of high school there was a boy in my math class who tormented me constantly about my hearing aids and cracked deaf “jokes” to the point where I stopped wearing them all together. Well, that boy, after 5 years, got into contact with me to apologize for the way he had treated me because he himself wore hearing aids and he couldn’t believe he had said those things to me. I’m not saying that all of my bullies are the same because they’re not… but it goes to show that we’re all not that different after all.
On September 5th, 2017, my family’s life was turned upside down when, at 2 am two police officers came to my aunt and uncle’s doorstep to tell them that they had found that my cousin had taken his own life. My cousin, Sean Michael Flynn, was an 18 year old 2017 Souderton area high school graduate on his way to attend a welding school in Lansdale. Sean was a lover of sports and played baseball, basketball, and soccer but had suffered several very serious concussions and attempted to take his own life his freshman year of high school. The next 3 years he went on to visit almost every MLB stadium except for 5. He was able to attend the World Series to see the Chicago Cubs win, and to graduate with his 9 best friends. Unfortunately, those years were “borrowed time” for us because each and every day Sean lived the past 3 years his brain haunted him to the point that he thought that the only way to escape was to to take things into his own hands.
I first heard about your project at Sean’s memorial benefit where my aunt had hundreds out hearts personalized with Sean’s name on it. I have one hanging in my car, on my nightstand and I always carry one in my jacket pocket wherever I go and leave it “Where ever it feels right”. Normally, that is in the men’s clothing section on something pink because that was his favorite color, or if I see a dragonfly because of the dragonfly story. Your project is so important to my family and so many more and I would be blessed to be a part of the work that you are doing. “No one should flicker out or have any doubt that it matters that they are here.”
I am a very active student on my campus as well as in my community. I plan to take The Peyton Heart Project to my campus as well as my boyfriend’s campus and my little brother’s high school. My goal is to grow The Peyton Heart Project across my city and not only spread awareness but to have people take the time out of their busy life to reflect and appreciate what they have.